Sick and Stupid

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

– Albert Einstein

I think that Albert Einstein would have found me to be insane. I often do things over and over again, not getting it through my thick skull, that something needs to be changed–often permanently. Today I put flavoured creamed in my coffee. Bad idea. Most of the time this winds up making me sick. Not all the time, but most of the time. If something harms you 80% of the time, you’d think you’d stop doing it, no? Apparently I’m not that bright. I know that milk itself is a bad idea in large portions, but I don’t understand why creamer in small portions makes me sick, especially as milk in that amount probably wouldn’t effect me. Or maybe it’s the combination of creamer and coffee that makes me ill. Not sure, but regardless, I should probably stop doing it. The pain is not worth it. It strikes me as odd that I can have a whole bowl of ice cream or yogurt, but creamer creates issues. Maybe it’s actually an additive in the creamer. Oh well.

Similarly, I’ve hidden the sugar in my house and have purged it of baking, as it seems to be detrimental to my desire to live a healthier lifestyle. For a long time I’ve just maintained that I have to learn to say “no”, but after dozens of failures on this front, I think it might just be better not to have it around.

As I sit here at my computer typing, I’m wearing gloves. They’re not hampering my progress as much as I’d expected. For some reason I’m always cold in this office and it’s slightly frustrating. So cold and sick. Not so nice. I think I need a nap. Maybe I’ll take the rest of the afternoon off, although I’ll feel guilty taking part of a sick day for something that I’m pretty sure is my own fault…and now I’m going to cancel me orthopedic appointment. Stupid me.