Refuse to be Passive

Food, Judgement, and Obsessive Eating.

In Uncategorized on March 16, 2012 at 5:38 am

“Did you try the scones?” I asked. 

“No,” he said. “After all there’s only so much room in my stomach!”

This is an actual excerpt from a conversation i had with a friend yesterday. It was such a simple thing he said, and not particularly profound, and yet it hit me like a ton of bricks. 

The past few months I’ve been eating like a starved man presented with a buffet. I’ve been sampling everything in sight, and then going back for seconds. Whenever I’m not eating, I’m thinking about what I’ll eat next. When I’m lonely, bored, sad, or happy, I eat. I eat much past satisfaction, sometimes even to the point of feeling ill. Food is my obsession. So when Jono said that simple sentence last night, it stopped me in my tracks. I looked back on where I was coming from and how my weight has ballooned over the past few months.

When did I lose sight of the fact that one eats to live, and not the other way around. While food is there to be enjoyed, it is not the be-all and end-all. Once your hunger is gone, it is acceptable to stop eating and simply enjoy your surroundings and the people you’re with. There is no rule that says you have to try the banana chocolate chip muffin and  the Black Forrest Cake. There is no reason to go for firsts, followed up by seconds, and then some fruit salad just to top it off. While I may be in culinary arts, and I may still be one of the thinner ladies in the kitchen (gents seem to come in all sizes), that shouldn’t be my license to abuse my body and my health simply to shove food down my throat. It’s like I’m a duck being fattened up for fois gras. Now that’s a disturbing mental picture. 

How did I go from little miss healthy to eating cream cheese icing out of a mug? Once again, disturbing but true. For a long while I’ve felt guilty about healthy eating habits due to the increased stress they seem to put on the household grocery budget. I decided to ease up on the health aspect and simply eat smaller portions to control the calories. However, the combination of increased salt, fat, and sugar has turned me into a total failure in  both the realm of portion control and healthy eating choices. But it’s time to turn the tide. It’s a resolution I feel I’m making daily as of late. But for today, I’m choosing to make good choices. I’ll worry about tomorrow when it comes. Remember this, regardless of where you are in life, in the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” If you want to eat healthy, don’t feel guilty about it. You need do what is going to work for you, regardless of what others may say or think. You worry about yourself, and let them worry about themselves. It’s tough, but it’s possible. Today I will not worry about if others are judging my eating habits, I will simply eat to return to who and how I want to be. The truth is, the better you eat, the better you are physically and mentally. Carpe diem. Goodbye crap.

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