Refuse to be Passive


In Life in General on March 9, 2012 at 8:49 am

The crappy thing about resolutions are how easy they are to forget.

“I’m not going to watch TV for a year.” Remember that one? Gigantic fail.

“I’m going to eat healthier.” Another gigantic fail.

“I’m going to read all the books on my reading list.” Okay, so I didn’t actually ever say that, but I’m sure I’d be horrible at the as well.

Or how about, “No more eating in my room.” Fail!

“I’m going to do my devotions every morning and give this year over to God.” Once again, you guessed it, fail!

I’m really good at failing and forgetting. Actually, I’d wager that we as a human race are really good at making resolutions and forgetting. Old habits are hard to break and new habits are hard to create. It’s much easier to make resolutions and then let them slide. Sometimes it’s intentional, sometimes it’s not. But regardless of whether it’s intentional or not, the question becomes, do we give up or start again? Sometimes I feel like I’m starting over so often that giving up does seem to be the better option. But true failure is falling down and refusing to get back up again. If you’re going to stumble, stumble forward. Even if you can’t see the progress you’ve made, even if you feel like you’re backsliding, looking back, you’ve moved forward, maybe not as far as you wanted or in the ways in which you’ve wanted, but you have progressed. Hind sight is 20/20. Hopefully in the future, when you look back on periods of treading water, you’ll see you were actually doggie paddling forward. And in periods when you feel you’re trying not to drown doing the front crawl, remember that you’re still moving toward the end of the pool and not the bottom of it.

On a totally different note, when I walked to the coffee shop this morning, the air was crisp and clear and the sun was shining. Now, snow is falling in big flakes, big luscious flakes that make me think that they’re like the supermodels of the snowflake world. It’s like the minority that all snowflakes wish to be. It reminds me of mascara adds promising luminous, volumous lashes. That’s right, with the right product, you, regular snowflake, can be like the big fluffly flakes currently falling from the sky. Okay, so maybe it’s a bit of a stretch, but that really is what popped into my head.

Anyway, back to the topic. To give up or re-resolve? Well, I’m about to head into school, and we’re doing a beet root salad with goat cheese, thyme chicken, and a honey chocolate cookie with vanilla ice cream and suspended sangrias. All of this is being done via molecular gastronomy. It’s great fun, but resolving on the food when you have food like this in front of you is hard. But the truth is, it’s not school that makes me eat like crap or gain weight, it’s my evenings and my weekends when I get sad, bored, or lonely. Then I really down the sugary crap. Then I really gain weight. And sometimes it seems like no end is in sight. I don’t know how to deal with these feelings, and so rather than taking them on, I hide them under another layer of food. Do I re-resolve? Honestly, when I started writing this post, I was ready to re-resolve, but now, once again, it seems pointless. Why try? Even the thought of my evenings fills me with guilt and stress. I just don’t know anymore.

  1. There’s nothing inherently special about resolving something for a whole year. 365 days is kind of arbitrary, really (366 days this year, I guess). Maybe resolve in more manageable chunks, that way instead of saying “I’ve failed to go 365 days without doing X” you can say “I’ve succeeded at going 14 days without X!” and then have some sort of reward / incentive.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: