Refuse to be Passive

Food: Friend or Foe?

In Life in General on February 19, 2012 at 9:34 pm

I hate food almost as much as I love it. Tonight has been evening of senseless, thoughtless overeating. There has got to be some direct correlation to night time eating and triggers. What are my triggers? Well, food is often a procrastination tactic for me. Whenever I don’t want to do something, I go grab a snack. Such is the case tonight where I don’t want to do my homework. Any other procrastination tactic would make me feel guilty, but for some reason I have deemed eating justifiable. Sad? Yes. True? Yes. The thing is, even while I’m doing It, I know I don’t need to eat. I know I’m not hungry. I do it in spite of myself and that niggling reminder that later I will feel guilty about the copious amounts of food I’ve eaten. Sometimes, that just pushes me to eat more. After all, if I’m going to feel guilty about something, I might as well give myself a real reason to feel guilty. Sometimes I feel like I’m flogging a dead horse. I go back and repeat destructive patterns again and again, entrenching them deeper into my subconscious and increasing the seemingly inevitable odds that I will at some point do it again.  And now, It’s 10:30pm, and my homework still hasn’t been started. The only thing that procrastination by eating has succeeded in doing is making me feel slightly ill. Oie. When will I learn?


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