Refuse to be Passive

A Pensive Birthday

In Life in General on December 19, 2011 at 9:26 am

It’s my Birthday. I turn 27 today. While I was in a happy positive mood yesterday, today I’m not at that point. Birthdays always make me pensive. I think about where I’ve been and what I’ve accomplished in the past year. I think about the joys and struggles of the past, and then think towards future hopes. Maybe it’s a slightly pessimistic attitude, but it often seems that the struggles are perpetual. Granted, they’re not struggles that make life unbearable, but things like weight maintenance and emotional eating are a constant battle for me– one I’ve been losing the past few days. But that being said, in the past year I’ve managed to keep off the weight I lost, which is a victory in and of itself. Now, I need to focus on creating a balanced lifestyle that won’t lead to gaining the weight back. Therein lies the challenge.


And then there are hopes for the future. Some of them are just fun thoughts– like working as a chef on a vacation ranch during the summer, or taking a trip back to England. Others of them are a little more normal. For example, getting married and having a family. I’ve really never minded being single. In fact, being single has given me the opportunity to do crazy things like spending a semester abroad in Oxford, quitting my job to go to culinary school, and buying seasons tickets to the theatre with my friend Kara. It’s nice to have that freedom. Since moving into my current household, I’ve gone from being driven completely bonkers by kids to loving having them around (most of the time).


This morning I had a one month old infant sleeping on my chest for an hour while his father tried to get the other two kids ready for school and out the door. And then there is the six year old who is often the one who wakes me up in the morning with his laughing. It’s a much happier sound to wake up to than the beeping of my alarm clock. And let me tell you, he is one cute kid, even if I occasionally have to get after him to finish his breakfast or to wash his hands after using the washroom. Then there is the 8 year old girl. She is a lovely girl and completely adorable when dressed in her turquoise dress coat and fuzzy toque. She hates the coat, but wears it because she has to. I love the fact that she’s in to baking and is so inquisitive and always wants to help out in the kitchen. I need to plan another baking date with her. Or maybe I’ll invite her to help make dinner tomorrow evening. She’s a pretty great kitchen helper, and I’ve trained her that before you start cooking you make sure the kitchen is neat. It’s great because that means I get help while washing the dishes that the household has let pile up. She reminds me of myself a bit. She can throw a fit with the best of them and hates having her hair brushed. Granted, that’s about where the similarity ends as she is a complete girly girl.  But with these kids around all the time, it kind of makes me hope for my own someday. If you would have asked me at 18, I would have told you I thought I’d be married by 23. So much for that one!


And other hopes for the future also include a bit of trepidation. What kind of job will I land once I get out of culinary school. Do I stay in Toronto or move back to Edmonton? Or do I move somewhere else completely? Right now I’m saying Edmonton, but I know that God has a tendency to take you places you never expected.


Then there are hope for simple things, like friendship. I have very few friends in Toronto and am hoping that the next few months might be filled with developing more Christian friends. I’m making a bit of progress on that front, as I did go to the Nutcracker with an acquaintance on Saturday– a birthday gift to myself– and then went to a movie yesterday with someone else. The Nutcracker was rather fantastical. I loved the costumes as much as the dancing. It was truly spectacular. Plus, it gave me a chance to wear my new cocktail dress out on the town, which was great. It’s a fantastic dress, although I was as wee bit chilly.

So, after a long break in my blogging, here is a long post to get back on track. It may be a while before I post again, as I’m heading out for vacation in a couple of days to my aunt’s house and their internet is dial-up, so I avoid it when possible. Ah well, it’s good to be back!

  1. Happy Birthday!

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