Refuse to be Passive

Nice Guys Finish Last

In Life in General on January 15, 2011 at 7:50 pm

I hate that statement. I have heard it come out of the mouths of so many males, that I”m beginning to wonder how broad the definition for nice guy is. I can’t count the number of guy friends who have grumbled to me about the girl they like and the jerk she’s dating. Many make a statement like, “She doesn’t even know I exist!” or ” Why do nice girls like the bad boys?” You know what? I think I might have the answer.  Girls go for the wrong guys all the time, sure. But here’s the kicker: Guys, yes, you nice guys, ever think you’re salivating over the wrong girl?

Some girls seem to have no shortage of prospects, while other girls date so seldom that they have an inkling that there might be something wrong with them. When I look around my workplace, there are no shortage of phenomenal single women. I would be willing to bet that the vast majority of them rarely get asked out.  I would wager that the things that drive women to bad men is similar to what drives men to salivate over unobtainable women. Looks, including weight, play a definite role. Let’s not deny it. If someone doesn’t look interesting to you, you’re probably not going to choose to invest a lot of time in getting to know that person.

One of my best friends, we’ll call her Norah, has about the sweetest disposition in the world. She’s not drop dead gorgeous, but she is pretty. She’s carrying a few extra pounds, but dresses well and takes care of herself. In all the time I’ve known her, I’ve never heard her talk of going on a date. I know that she wants to get married someday and is waiting for the right guy to come along, but if she never dates, she’s probably not going to be getting married. That seems to be the way of things.

So nice guys, if you want a nice girl, check out Norah, or whoever that quiet person is that many people seem know as a nice person, but few people truly appreciate. Try taking time to step away from your requirements and looking around at the amazing potential there is. Most girls aren’t going to chase you, at least not the quality kind you claim to be looking for, so put in a bit of effort. You never know where things could lead.

Oh, and I suppose if I’m not using a friend as an example, I might as well present myself. Over the past five years I can count on one hand how many dates I’ve been on.  I’m a very social person and attend a wide variety of events. I’m hardly a recluseand as far as I know I am not socially awkward, and yet, I never get asked out, I just become the friend. Are you sure it’s only nice guys who finish last? What about the nice girls?

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  1. You do seem nice. You seem caring, sympathetic, introspective, communicative, intelligent, and you write well.

    If this was real life I’d ask you out. I’d be happy to get to know you, without preconditions. Nice girls don’t finish last, they wind up with the nice guys. Bad boys and bad girls wind up being lonely and *censored* themselves in the end.

    Respectfully,
    Matthew

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