Refuse to be Passive

You drive me batty!

In Uncategorized on December 6, 2010 at 12:59 pm

I’ve been thinking lately about my attitude towards change. My general approach is, “if you don’t like it, change it.” In some areas of life, I’m quite adept at that. In others, not so much. How many of us don’t have those people who are always getting on our nerves, always bugging us, always screwing things up to the point where the constant refrain is, “I hate it when she…” or “He’s so aggravating! Why doesn’t he….” I guess that my question becomes, is it really that person’s problem, or my own?
If someone drives you nuts, is it their fault? Or maybe it’s yours, because, after all, it’s your reaction. The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that if I want change in how I view another person, I need to create the change myself. Waiting for them to change is a frustrating process that can be slow, if it’s even in motion. Instead, I think we need to look at people who drive us nuts and say, “what is triggering me to act this way?” Once we know that, we can take steps to change it.
One of my triggers is whimpering. It drives me batty. Why? It expresses a useless, helplessness. I’m rather independent and solution oriented, so when someone simply whimpers, I want to tell them to go out and find a solution. Now that I know whimpering drives me batty, I hope to recognize it in situations where it comes up. From there, I’ll step back and say, “This is someone else’s coping mechanism, and for them it may not have the same connotations. Be gracious.”
I also have issues with those who mico-manage. It comes across to me as a lack of trust and respect. Those are two things I value greatly. Therefore, when I’m micro-managed, I feel annoyed. To deal with my reaction of annoyance, I may need to step back and see that the micro-manager in question, treats everyone this way. That means that they likely have control issues they’re working through. That’s something I can understand, and would therefore probably dissipate my annoyance rather effectively.
Taking a look at what you value can help you decipher what your triggers are. Anytime someone’s values don’t match up with your own, annoyance or anger is likely to ensue unless you take action to recognize it and change your approach to the other person.

Something to think on.

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