Refuse to be Passive

Hosiery and sunrises

In Life in General on October 8, 2010 at 9:50 am

The sunrise this morning filled the sky with a pink glow and it was absolutely gorgeous. I got to enjoy it as I drove to work, after a week of walking to work and getting nothing exciting. Patience is a virtue that always pays off.

And now, on to my rant. Nylons.

Who invented these things anyway? The only good thing about them is that they keep you from having to shave your legs. The quick answer is Allen Grant. These new stockings were released in 1959 by Glen Raven Mills in North Carolina.  Mr. Grant, you are a cruel and unusual person.

Every time I go to buy nylons, or pantyhose if you prefer, I have massive issues finding ones that fit my super long legs. Not everyone has a 30 inch inseam! For me, I’ve got a 35 inch inseam. That’s a full 5 inches too short, even when I buy the largest size. For example, the nylons I currently have on are by Calvin Klein. According to the package they should fit someone of 180 lbs and 5’11– that’s me! And the answer is, barely. They’re a total pain to get on. And what about the poor souls who are taller than 5’11 or weight more than 180 lbs– or both! What happens to those people? Calvin Klein’s largest size tops out there. Are those people simply out of luck? On no, wait, they can go and spend $30 on a specialty pair. Heck, I have issues paying $5 for a pair of nylons, as they rarely survive more than a couple of wears anyway. The average for me is 2 times.  So for every pair of stockings I get three wears out of, there is a pair that gets holes on their first day. This is so annoying. The cost adds up so fast! If I were to wear nylons everyday during our 6 months of winter, assuming 2 wears per pair, I would have spent $450 on nylons, assuming $5/pair, which all of us ladies know is on the really cheap side. Most nylons run closer to $10-$12/pair. And people wonder why I often opt for bare legs even in the winter. Absurd.

Oh, I’d like to mention that these nylons I have on today, already have a hole in them and it’s not even noon. Calvin Klein, I will never buy your hosiery ever again.

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