Refuse to be Passive

Awkward and Unpleasant

In Life in General on April 5, 2010 at 12:22 am

Sometimes I don’t understand myself. Sometimes I wind up acting like a jerk as a way of covering for my insecurities. After I do this (and I often don’t realize I’m doing it when I do it), I feel absolutely horrible. Just because I feel uncomfortable in a given situation, it doesn’t mean that I should make others feel uncomfortable too. And afterwards, as it was not a direct slight to anyone, I’m never quite sure how to apologize. Or if I know how to apologize, I don’t really want to go through that humbling experience. I don’t really like having to say, “I’m sorry. I screwed up. Please forgive me.” My mother would say that it’s character building, and we all have to take responsibility for our actions– but sometimes taking responsibility is so hard! Usually I find it best to suck it up and get it over with. So that’s what I’m going to do, suck it up and get it over with. Deep breaths.

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