Refuse to be Passive

Two Things…totally unrelated

In Food, Life in General on February 10, 2010 at 12:44 pm

Well, today I’m functioning on slightly less than five hours of sleep. No, it wasn’t a good novel or great conversation that kept me awake into the wee hours of the morning. It was worry. You know how when you’re tired, you worry about things you’d never worry about otherwise? Well, that was yesterday night. So, after lying in bed, tossing and turning for an hour and a half (at least) I finally fell asleep sometime after 1 a.m (the last time I looked at the clock). I woke dark and early, 5:45 a.m. to go swimming with Erika. I seriously considered for about ten minutes skipping and going back to sleep, as I needed to be alert today to study for a midterm and play a night volleyball game. Sadly, my body was awake and raring to go. So I got up, packed up my stuff, headed to the pool and…had one of the best swims I’ve had a in a long time– as in I swam 500m front crawl before my first break. Normally I hit 200 and hit a wall. No walls to be hit today. It was great!

On a totally different note, I’ve struggled with my weight and healthy eating for the past decade (wow, I feel old). And I’m attempting to make the numbers on the scale go down once again, but am failing miserably. I started a sugar detox a while back, and it stuck for a few days before I started adding the baking in again. Dang baking, it gets me every time. But this time in particular, I seem to be having issues saying no in the evenings. Why? Am I bored? Not really. Am I hungry? Nope. Stress? Not that either. I eat for the sake of eating. Therefore I’m starting to think that it’s not about my stomach or my mind, but rather that this battle goes deeper. I wonder if it’s not spiritual? Now, for any of you reading this blog who don’t know me, you might think I sound like a total fruitcake, but really I’m not. I’m just a Christian who believes that faith permeates all aspects of life. Thus, I think that food is often something I treat as an idol. It’s something that I let control my life. I believe that food is one of the greatest temptations in my life, one of the things I really hold on to tight and am not willing to give up– the unhealthy sweet stuff in particular. Many of the other temptations I deal with in my life seem to be lying dormant, so maybe this is my spiritual struggle. Does food take precedence in my life, rather than my walk with God? I’m thinking about that seriously right now. And as next week is the beginning of Lent, I have decided to give up goods made with refined sugars. No baking, no chocolate, no extra sugar, no mochas– I need to get my eating on track and practice discipline. I’ll be buying better quality foods and eating less. I’ll be praying about it, no doubt, but then I’ll be acting on my desire to not let food control me. This will be tough. But I can do it, of that I have no doubt. Indeed, if God is for me, then who can be against me? God gave me my body as a gift and I need to start taking care of it in a way that honours Him.

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