Refuse to be Passive

Present, Future, Past…and Future?

In Life in General on January 21, 2010 at 8:15 pm

Do you ever feel overwhelmed that you only have one life to live? Do you ever look at all the options available to you and think, “I want to do all of them, how should I choose?” That was the point I was at today. I have so many interests, which one would I like to follow as a career path? Baking, cooking, art history, social justice, something with youth and young adults, start a bed and breakfast, the list goes on! I’m not one of those people who believes that if you choose one and it doesn’t work out, you just go on to the next. It doesn’t actually work that way. The choices we make in the next few months can influence the rest of our lives. Robert Frost got it right when he said, “and knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.” Even if you come across that same point in your path, that same decision, at some later point in your life, the opportunity will not be the same. You will have changed and grown as a person, making it a completely alternate reality than if you’d chosen it ten years earlier. But more likely, is that you will never revisit that spot in your journey. I choose to start a bed and breakfast in a small town, which probably means I will never be an art curator in New York City, or if I choose to become a baker, I will probably never be a social justice advocate arguing for affordable housing, and breaking down the stigma that goes with the words “low-income.” Even if I look at my past already. Today I was watching Yale’s recruitment video as a bit of a work research project, and wondered, “If I had worked harder at school, could I have gone to Yale?” Did you know that undergrads admitted to Yale will never be turned away based on an inability to pay? The entire Financial Aid system at Yale is needs-based. There are no academic merit or athletic scholarship. This ensures that they can take the cream of the crop, no matter what walk of life they come from. If I had worked harder in school, could I have been one of those students? Ultimately, dwelling on the past is not helpful unless you learn from it. So, in the past I didn’t work for Yale because I never truly thought it was attainable. But was that true? As I consider it now, and look at my current decisions in light of my past decisions, I find myself overwhelmed by the opportunities before me that I have to choose from. But which one is the right one? Looking from one to another, they all have pros and cons. And each would create a drastically different life for me. So which path do I take in the future? God certainly hasn’t been making it very clear, so currently I’m assuming that any of these choices would be good with Him. But that still leaves me with a choice to make. Dang. Sometimes predestination sounds darn attractive.

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